Gratitude As Tool for Transformation

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Two Perspectives on Personal Transformation

Two Perspectives’ is a bi-monthly column with two different perspectives from two different continents, genders and cultures on the same topic viz.

Dr Janet Smith Warfield (based in Florida, USA) and 
Dr Amit Nagpal (based in New Delhi, India).

Dr Janet Smith Warfield's Perspective, USA

Tears dampen my cheek

washing the pain from my Soul.

Refreshing shower.

After 21 years of marriage and three children, my husband abandoned me for another woman.

I had been a wonderful wife. I had washed the family clothes, cleaned the family home, baked homemade bread, cared for our yard and organic garden, joined my husband on his sailing excursions and trips to Maine, watched football games with him, entertained his friends, played bridge with him, sung our children to sleep, read them stories, played games with them. He said we had the perfect marriage.

Yet he abandoned me and our children to rut after another woman.

My whole world turned upside down. What had I done wrong?

I lost all my trust in people. I lost my trust in the social systems that had supported my family over centuries. I was hurting, my children were hurting, and there was little I could do to make anything better.

I sobbed alone at night for hours. My heart shattered wide open and split into millions of pieces.

One of our sons went from straight A's to Straight F's in a single year, got hooked on drugs, and became involved in physical violence and arrests. I was waking up in the middle of the night with such deep rage that it felt as if my guts were being ripped from my belly. But for emotional and financial support from my parents, I might well have bought a gun and murdered both my husband and his mistress.

How can one be grateful for such life-shattering experiences?

I learned I was a survivor and spiritual warrior. Being used by this man as a convenient housekeeper, babysitter, and sex object was not the life I was intended to live.

At age 20, becoming a lawyer had never been part of my vision. At age 40, I needed to go to law school to learn how to use words and the patriarchal system to protect myself against words and the patriarchal system. I graduated cum laude and practiced law for 22 years. On more than one occasion, bullies, incompetents, and dysfunctional politicians disintegrated and disappeared as I presented relevant facts and arguments to support a dynamic, all-inclusive, co-creative community.

I learned how to think for myself and take care of myself. I became a free woman. I am beholden to no one other than the Source I have chosen to believe in, myself, and those humans who are accountable and conscious enough to deserve my gifts and my love.

I've experienced many dark nights of the Soul, but I've learned to dance with words and dance with wisdom. I've even learned to dance with functional, respectful, appreciative men.

Here's a short video on gratitude you may find useful:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S0EkB0p6sio

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Dr. Janet Smith Warfield serves wisdom-seekers who want understanding and clarity so they can live peaceful, powerful, prosperous lives. Through her unique combination of holistic, creative, right-brain transformational experiences and 22 years of rigorous, left-brain law practice, she has learned how to sculpt words in atypical ways to shift her listeners into experiences beyond words, transforming turmoil into inner peace. For more information, see wordsculptures.com,janetsmithwarfield.com, and wordsculpturespublishing.com.

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Dr Amit Nagpal's Perspective, India
 
"He cribbed, ''God you have given me unusual problems.''
She said,'' I have also given you unusual joys.''

He cribbed,''But you have not given me some of the usual joys everyone gets.''
She replied, ''But then I have not given you usual problems.''

He said, ''God, I have lost the debate.''"

 

Was I always grateful? No, definitely not.

They rightly say that the most difficult arithmetic to learn in life is to count your blessings. I would say the most important lesson I have learnt in my life is gratitude. The more grateful I became, the more blessings Universe bestowed upon me. It has been a long journey though.

I had more complaints and less gratitude for almost 25 years of my life. I felt I always got less than what I gave. So naturally, I deserved to receive gratitude, not express it. "Chicken Soup for the Soul" book series initially inspired me to give thank you notes and express gratitude wholeheartedly (around 1998). While the complaining attitude was clouding my mind, gratitude helped me find clarity and fill positive energy in the mind.

The more grateful I became, the more my life began overflowing with beautiful souls. And on the thanksgiving this year, I was able to finally gather strength to even express gratitude to the relationships which have been lessons rather than blessings. The people who had rather rubbed me like sandpaper, also deserved my gratitude, since they had made me grow and evolve in the process. I also realised it’s good to give people a benefit of doubt. In fact practically speaking, giving benefit of doubt to people, gives peace of mind to you too.

If you still have doubts, then I would speak the language of science. Gratitude releases the negative energy from the mind. When there is no negative energy (grudges, guilt, suppressed anger and so on), it is easier to meditate and find that peace or desired results. In your own interest forgive and bury the past. Wallace D Wattles rightly says, “The grateful mind is constantly fixed upon the best; therefore, it tends to become the best.”

In fact these lessons helped me find peace and meditation helped me find perfect peace. Perfect peace led to regaining my lost creativity and find clarity, purpose and joy. Beautiful souls walked in, unexpected events and serendipity started happening, surprises started becoming a norm and life became wonderfully worth living.

Let me end with a note of gratitude,

“Some inspiration comes from my inspiration (muse),

Some inspiration comes from the divine.

Some inspiration comes from my friends,

There is nothing I can claim to be mine.”

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Brief Profile
Dr Amit Nagpal is Chief Inspirational Storyteller at AL Services. He is a Social Media Influencer,  Author, Speaker/Trainer & Coach. To know more, visit www.dramitnagpal.com. (His special interest and expertise lies in inspirational storytelling, anecdotes and visual storytelling)

AL Services offers content development/story writing, consulting, training and other services in the area of brand storytelling. To know more, write to amit@dramitnagpal.com