Do We Write our Destiny?-Hug and Nudge

Two Answers-One Question

(Vol II)

Sometimes a warm hug is the answer to our question 

and sometimes a gentle nudge is the answer. Tweet This

'Hug and Nudge' is a fortnightly column with two different perspectives from two different continents and cultures on the same question in personal development area viz. 

Jennifer Sertl (based in New York, USA) and 

Dr Amit Nagpal (based in New Delhi, India).

Question-Do we write our own destiny? What role do thoughts play in the law of attraction?

(A great question asked by Pranav Rastogi)

Jennifer Sertl's Answer

Wow! What an intense packed question. This could probably be a series in and of itself.

I am going to explain by a drawing I drew for my daughter when she was 10 years old. We were having a conversation about a decision that she made that was limiting and caused some pain. I felt that she was ready for a higher level dialogue about cause and effect. I asked her, “what other options were available to you?” and she looked at me blankly. I then decided a picture would do much better than my words. 

I choose soccer because it is an international sport, it is also a rich part of our family culture. 

(Interesting as I look at this drawing as I did it in 2005 - prior to any reference to the internet and the cloud) 

We are chemical factories with values, thoughts, goals, fears, data and dreams. In the mental cloud it is all swimming and moving together - like an electrical storm of neurons. 

Then we are asked to “kick the ball” - that is respond to the world. The “kick the ball” means a choice is made. The word decide comes from the root “to kill” as homicide and suicide also come from same source. So when you “kick the ball” you are killing all other possibilities. 

Here is what I want you to know. Our conscious brain processes about 40-50 bits per second and our unconscious processes between 4-11 million bits per second.* 

For a deeper dive into this data check The Wisdom of Your Cells by Dr. Bruce Lipton 

We only thin slice because we cannot process all the sensory information available to us. 

So when we choose or “decide” - we have selected a sub-set of data that informs us and by which we form our core belief system. 

The rub is this, most people are selecting data based on a filter that was designed when the individual was between the ages of 5-7 years old. Noam Chomsky taught me this,_origin,_and_use. Language creates reality. Our word choices when we begin to tell a narrative about ourselves as either heros or villains or beautiful or smart or funny - all begin in our young adult histories. As that innocence begins to tell a story - a grove in the brain or a synapse pattern begins to form. Like a river is cut from a glacier - reinforcing data continues to dig the grove deeper and deeper. Neurons that fire together wire together. We seek data that reinforces our beliefs - whether it is there or not - sometimes the grooves are so deep there is muscle memory and the story goes on and on and on. Bottom line- what you focus on expands. 

The question is, what filters do you consciously have? 

Are the filters that you selected between the ages of 5-7 still serving you? Or do you need to re-examine what you are sensing and interrogate the validity of it. 

We can rewire and begin to focus on new things - we simply need to be invited to ask different questions or re-examine our operating system. We also need a lot of reinforcing messages & support to help carve out new grooves. 

This is why I love Clay Shirky’s (@cshirky) brilliant statement: “The issue isn’t information overload, it is filter failure.” 

Our choice of words matters. Language creates “code” which then creates the system of our awareness and our belief about how we fit in that landscape I’ll call the soccer field of life. 

Your competitive advantage is not what you do or where you work; it is the accuracy of how you scan the macro (soccer field) and the way you choose to articulate your life experience (kick the ball). 
Juicy topic. Just a quick brush. 

Mind your mind. 

Brief Profile
Beacon of hope. Purveyor of discipline.
Global Citizen. Transleader.
Coach. Facilitator.
Co-Author- Strategy, Leadership & the Soul and Founder of Agility3R.

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Find out more about Jennifer's works here:-

Dr Amit Nagpal's Answer

All that we are is the result of what we have thought.” -Buddha.

Just few days back when I was searching images on Joy, I came across an image which simply said;

Joy = Love - Fear

The equation in the image hit me hard and set me thinking. I realized it was so true that success and joy are nothing but love minus fear. I have read lot of books on the power of sub-conscious mind, the law of attraction and so on. When I integrate the thoughts in all these books, I come to few realizations (which will together outline the answer to the above questions):-
  • The sub-conscious mind is much more powerful than the conscious and provides the wisdom to attract the people and the circumstances required for success. It is a divine gift.
  • The sub-conscious mind thinks in terms of images and not words. That's why visualization is a powerful technique.
  • The sub-conscious does not understand negative. So if you visualise what you don't want because of fears or constantly think about something fearfully, you invite those very incidents and people in life (which you want to avoid). That's why they say, "We get in life what we love and fear the most."
  • All positive emotions can be clubbed under love and all negative emotions can be clubbed under fear. Fear is energy too. Nithya Shanti , Spiritual Guru says, "Fear energises the objects of fear." The people and things you hate must be forgiven to neutralise your thoughts. 
It's all in the Mind after all. Let the mind focus on what you want and as Jennifer says, it expands. (It is humanly difficult to love the people, you have hated at some point of time but at least forgive them and neutralise your thoughts. To invite abundance and love, you must let the fear/negativity go.) 

The Magic begins now (There is no substitute to actions/hardwork though.) The relationships that you desire, the abundance or anything else that you desire begins to walk in, one by one. Life becomes truly amazing and surprises become a norm. 

Then you start to firmly believe, Joy = Love - Fear. Need I say more.

(Mail me your questions along with your name and  website at The questions should be on personal development only)
Brief Profile
Dr Amit Nagpal is a Personal Branding Consultant & Deepest Passion Coach. He is based in New Delhi, India and specializes in personal branding with a holistic touch. His philosophy is, "Enlarge as a Human Being, Excel as a Social Media Being and Evolve as a Personal Brand"
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  1. lAny solid free will argument needs a consideration of upward and downward causality. See Prof. Amit Goswamy.


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