Twitter and the Dictator-A Humourous Story
Once upon a time, there was a small island called “Euphoria.”
It was a small and peaceful country and the citizens lived a life of bliss. Not
only the literacy rate was 100 %, even the social media literacy rate was 100 %
too. Everyone was especially fond of Twitter. One day the democratic government
was thrown out in a coup and the Dictator Hellonavich took over and declared
himself as the President. Keeping in mind, the popularity of Twiiter,
Hellonavich issued the following President’s order to the citizens:-
President’s Order (to residents of Euphoria)
All citizens must comply with the following regulations,
else they shall be sent on exile.
1) All
citizens must follow the President on Twitter @Hellonavich. Even infants should
have a Twitter account (managed by the parents). The number of Followers would
be used for census purposes and anyone who does not follow will be treated as a
rebel.
2) All
citizens must retweet (RT) the President’s content at least 5 times in a day
and mention (appreciate) the President’s rule at least once a day.
3) All
Twitter profiles should have the last line as ‘Hail Hellonavich’.
4) #Euphoria
should be used in all the tweets.
5) The
President shall send at least 10 tweets a day announcing the punishments (and
rewards for sycophancy). You can chose any of the tweets and mark it as
Favourite for the day.
6) You
can complaint directly to the king by using hashtag #complaintHisMajesty.
Anyone complaining about disloyalty to the President shall be given handsome
rewards (irrespective of the fact that the complainer is handsome or not).
7) The
President shall not follow anyone back except the Queen.
8) Those
who will include the President in their ‘Lists’ (of expertise, appreciation
etc), shall be monitored. A reward may be offered if deemed suitable.
9) The
President shall declare the ‘Trending Topic’ of the day first thing in the
morning and those who participate in the conversation/Twitterchat (and appreciate
His Majesty) on a regular basis may be given subsidized ration.
10) The
recommended app is ‘Tweetdeck’ but the President shall show his mercy to those
who use other apps.
11) Only
the President shall tweet “What he is doing” including the time of brushing
teeth and dinner. Rest of the citizens must be relevant.
12) The
President can cross the ‘140 character’ limit and rest of the message will be
included in the Blog link provided. Pressing the ‘Like’ button on the Blog post
is a must and commenting shall get suitable rewards.
13) The
President can send a Direct Message to citizens but citizens are not granted
this privilege.
14) On
every Friday, every citizen shall recommend their foreign friends to follow the
President by using hashtag #FF.
15) All
the rewards and penalties shall be announced in the form of Tweets and will
include the Twitter handles of the concerned citizens. You must monitor your
mentions to know if you continue to be in the good books of His Majesty.
Best of Tweeting and stay euphoric. This is President’s
order and he is true to his name.
NB-For any questions, doubts and tips for Twitter usage,
please click the link below:-
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